"Beautiful Mess"

Several months ago my very wise mother-in-law said something to me that has stuck with me and I think about often. I was talking with her about our financial situation, or the lack thereof, when she said,

 "You are rich in things that matter." 

Sean and I are aware of the COUNTLESS blessings/miracles we have had in our lives together, both temporal and spiritual. Even with our midget apartment, government supplemented food and insurance, and finding myself shopping for clothes at Goodwill, I have never thought the word "poor" was a description for our family...but I have NEVER thought rich was the word of choice either. That is until my mother-in-law said it. When she said I was rich in things that matter, I suddenly felt like the most wealthy person to have ever lived on planet Earth. Seriously. I was choking back tears so I would not look like a total mess in front of my mother-in-law. I have two fabulous boys to live my life with, accompanied by my knowledge of the Gospel, more than just a roof over my head, and probably a little too much to eat, especially when it comes to BlueBell ice cream.

A few days ago I had another choking back tears moment when I again realized just how rich I truly am. It had been a pretty long day. Corbin was taking his classic 7 minute naps, I hadn't showered, dinner was late getting started and then we ate it cold because when it was finally done we were too busy to eat, and I was tired and wanted to go to bed.  As I sat eating my last bites of cold food while simultaneously feeding Corbin, who was naked and covered in oatmeal, Sean pulled out his guitar and started to play a song called "Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz. First, Sean playing guitar can make anything better. But second, that song was just so fitting for the moment. The house looked like a bomb had gone off inside with toys, burp clothes, laundry, blankets, dishes, and shoes scattered everywhere (how my immobile 6 month old creates such a mess is beyond me??). I was covered in spit up and slobber, and possibly baby pee, and the few strands of hair I have left (I'm balding due to baby hormones--it's called telogen effluvium) were a complete mess. As I sat there and fed Corbin and listed to Sean play this song, I looked around and thought this truly was a beautiful mess. I wished I could just freeze time and live in that perfectly happy moment for the rest of my life. I felt so wealthy looking at Sean and Corbin, both smiling and so content. I saw all the toys laying everywhere and thought about how even though the day had been long, we had had a lot of fun and laughed a lot playing with all the toys and blankets and everything else. I was suddenly proud of my disastrous house and appearance.

And now, because I know everybody wants to see...here are some adorable pictures of my cute little family :)

Corbin now eats with the big kids. Unfortunately he now hates the bumbo and the high chair has still not arrived.  

This boy LOVES to see himself. (this is a reflection in the mirror) 

Not usually a fan of the "selfie" but I had to document that this is Corbin's favorite way to eat...with his foot in my face.  

We all love when Grandpa comes to town :)

What a stud!!! Corbin looks pretty cute too, I guess. haha

We have a sitter! 

He has learned that some part of the giraffe (aka Mr. Puzzles) goes in his mouth, he just quite hasn't figured out which part. 

I would say he's just a bit too small for dad's bike.  

yes. he is adorable. I'm aware. 

It's hard to get a picture of him sleeping, because it doesn't happen very often. But when it does, his feet are usually straight up in the air. 

Apparently he likes the taste of his toe jam and lint filled toes. 

Happy Halloween! Love, the farmer, the pig, and the cow. (I totally should have been the cow, I'm the one with all the milk!) 

Voyage #2 to Utah 2014

Since Sean had a one week break in September, we thought we would take the opportunity to go visit the 801 state. That fact the my older brother Tyler was getting married may have persuaded us to make the visit as well :) It was a BLAST! We never stopped moving! It was crazy! Corbin was such a great sport and he's pretty much the best little baby ever. He has been on more airplanes in his first 5 months than some people go on in a lifetime. He has now been in 5 states, 2 roadtrips, 8 planes, seen two moose, tons of deer, and lived the fancy life in SunValley, Idaho. We are pretty fortunate to have family members to help us live such a life of travel!

Our trip began with my sister's baby shower! We arrived just hours before it began and it was a total success. Baby Girl is LOVED so much already! We can't wait till she is here!  The next morning, we headed to the baby blessing of little Avery, our friends Troy and Holly's little girl. We were so lucky that they just happened to be blessing her the day after we arrived to Utah! Just hours after the baby blessing we piled into my dads truck and headed to the one and only Sun Valley, Idaho. Our family has gone to Sun Valley every year that I can remember. Having Sean and Corbin with me this year just made it feel even more like home than it already does to me.

A little family photo shoot outside our condo. 

For the first time ever Corbin experienced the chill of the mountains. I think he liked it :)

Breakfast at the Konditorei. Our waiter convinced us to somehow spend an extra $30 dollars on bacon and toast. 

Just sliding around the condo...

Corbin's first swim! It was a little rocky at first.

But he warmed up to the idea. 

My dad and I took a day to fly fish. It was a BLAST! We each had a private guide and it felt so good to get back on the river!

Fun, Fun, Fun till her daddy took the T-Bird away! Beach Boys. Who knew they could be so awesome!? I have never seen so many old people drunk and dancing in my life. Half way through the concert my dad turned to me and said he was sure someone was going to break a hip. My throat hurt the next day from screaming. The only thing that would have made this night better was if  John Stamos would have made a guest appearance. haha 

We made it back from Sun Valley to see these two love birds be sealed for time and all eternity. Such a cute couple! We are so lucky to have Sydney apart of our family! Even though Ty had pneumonia and Syd was sick and their honeymoon was ruined by the hurricane in Mexico, they had the most positive attitudes, which is the perfect way to start a marriage. 

Corbin spent many hours in the car seat....such a trooper. 

Hanging out with Gramps at Ty and Syd's reception. 

Corbin LOVES the Lytle family :) He is lucky to have such "great" relatives! 

Meeting little miss Norah :)

She was kind of forward, and he wasn't too interested just yet. 

Such a great day spent with these ladies! It was much too long of a separation. 

The Cars plus Corbin. 

Sean came home earlier than me to start school. Corbin and I missed him like CRAZY! Apparently he missed us too.

Life With Corbin

Corbin is nearly 4 months old! What?! How did that even happen?! It seems like just yesterday I was waddling around waiting to meet this little boy inside me, and now...I can't imagine life without him! Even though the time has flown by, it also feels like Corbin has been a part of our lives forever; which in a way, I suppose he has. I have been thinking about kids for A LONG time.

When I was little, I had a video camera that never left my hand. I recorded every thing from commercials about orange juice to "Car's News Network," to sitting around my living room doing nothing. But, what I have the most of, is tours of my bedroom so that my future children could see what my room looked like growing up (because I know that one day that will be so interesting to them! haha-I was like 9, okay). But really, I have several letters in my journal addressed to "My Future Children" telling them all about my jr. high and high school experiences. I even have letters to my future self that I wrote when I was 17 telling me what life was like so I would know what my kids were going through. As Sean and I were discussing marriage we talked about kids; names we liked, how many we wanted, how close we wanted them, etc. So yeah, Corbin has been "around" for some time. And now that he is an actual tangible being, someone I can hold and feed, and care for, I feel like our lives are so much more complete.

It is so interesting how much our little family has changed since the arrival of our little man. We sleep less, are less spontaneous, and it's definitely more difficult to shop, exercise, and watch movies with Corbin around. Honestly though, all of those things we expected, so it wasn't like we were not prepared or as if these things came as a shock. In fact, when we decided we wanted to start our family, we realized what we were "giving up." What did come as a shock and what we weren't necessarily prepared for, however, was what we were gaining.

I did not know exactly how much I was capable of loving until Corbin came. I thought I loved Sean more than it was even possible to love, but seeing him hold Corbin, and make faces at him to try and make him giggle... well, apparently I can love more. The love I have for Corbin is such a different love, one I can't even begin to explain. It's like Corbin and Sean are now a part of what makes me, me. Without them, I would not even be the "Carlee" that I know. As much as I love sleep, and sleeping through the night is a quickly fading memory, I actually sometimes enjoy getting up and feeding Corbin at 3am. It's so peaceful. Just him and I (with the occasional honks from the ferry boats right outside our window, but I try to tune those out). Sometimes it almost feels like the whole world is asleep, except us two.

I was totally unprepared for the worry that comes with being a mom. Yes, I have always been a worrier, so I knew I would worry about Corbin, but I think I have taken "worry" to a whole new level. Sometimes, I don't even know what I am worrying about, I'm just worried about him. Every time I am away from him, he's ALL I think about. It's ridiculous. We just moved Corbin out of our room and into his own room, which is about 20 feet away from ours, and that first night I was up nearly the entire time staring at the monitor watching him sleep. I missed him and he was only like 20 feet away. That is merely one example.

While it is harder to find "just us" time, Sean and I actually spend more quality time together. Maybe not quantity time, but quality time. We appreciate the 30 minutes we have after Corbin goes to bed and before we do, much more than we used to. We make more of an effort to plan date nights, even if they are just playing Nintendo and eating Starburst in the living room.

I had no idea how much fun it would be to watch Corbin grow up! The first smile, the first giggle, or the first time he reached for something, you would have thought it was Christmas morning at our house. When Corbin was first born, I kind of already knew him; he was the same little baby that was inside me. He held the same "sleep all day, party all night schedule," he made the same kinds of movements, etc. But now, as he is adjusting to this new world and is growing up (a whopping 4 months) it's like I'm actually getting to know a human being! He's not just a little doll anymore. He has some personality, and he is becoming somebody. It is so fun!

We are having such a blast learning how to be parents. Poor Corbin, as the first child he is definitely our guinea pig and we have made many mistakes on him, but like I said, we are just learning. Corbin is a pretty good sport about it all.

Get to know Corbin: 

 Likes:
1)  Milk...my milk
2)  Lights-he could stare at them all day
3)  Diaper changes-when he was born, the diaper change was the end of the world. Not sure what changed          but now he's all smiles.
4)  My singing-that's a first for me
5)  Sean's guitar-he absolutely LOVES when Sean plays
6)  Books-he has to be in the right mood, but he loves brightly colored pictures
7)  Laughter-he loves when we laugh, it makes him giggle
8)  Mom and Dad-he really loves us. When he first sees us in the morning, biggest smile of the day!
9)  The binky-he has a pacifier with a giraffe on the end, which somehow got named Mr. Puzzles
10)  Outside-he loves to be outside and getting some fresh air! Walking outside calms him down nearly              every time
11)  BATH TIME!

Dislikes:
1)  Being put down-this boy just loves to be held, and throws a little tantrum when it's time to be put down
2)  Booger Sucker-I have only had to suck out his nose a few times, but it's pretty awful
3)  His carseat-he used to love it, now he can go from smiling to full out fuss-face in a matter of seconds
4)  Gas-makes his tummy sore :(
5)  Tummy time-sometimes he tolerates it, but for no more than 5 minutes and he's done
6)  Load noises-just recently I have discovered that Corbin does not like the vacuum, my hair dryer, or              flushing toilets
7)  When Mom and Dad sit-he likes to be held, while we are standing. Not sure how he knows the                     difference

2 months

Best Buddies

First Fourth of July!

One of his man blow-outs

3 months

Those hands....

Visiting Utah! We love the cabin :)

Corbin's baby blessing. He was great through the blessing...although this pic suggests otherwise 

                                                

Our good friends made it to the blessing, even at 38 weeks pregnant! 

The whole Petersen side! 

Our wedding cake...a year later :)

Uncle Tyler's first time holding a baby...yikes!

Bear's first time through the temple! He is such an awesome missionary!

Back at the Cabin...

Visiting our engagement park in Provo, Utah 

Who would have thought we would be back at this temple just 1 year later with our SON!